


How to manage fangirling

by mugiji (shichan)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bernadetta is a fanwriter, Felix and Sylvain are living material for Bernie nothing more, Humor, Linhardt is a fanboy, M/M, Metafiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22684588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shichan/pseuds/mugiji
Summary: She should run away. First of all, (almost) everything on her table gives away that she’s… that. A fangirl. A fanwriter. Oh, that’s big, big trouble.
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	How to manage fangirling

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: metafic (M1)  
> Words: 2360  
> Warnings: Sylvix is a metioned pairing, there is no real relationship between these two per se (for now, if you know what I mean), only in the fanfiction Bernie is writing! CasLin is an actual pair, but only mentioned, so if you are here for actual content about these pairs I apologise in advance!

_ Last update was amazing! Thank you for sharing! _

  
«Aaaah, did you read it, Mercie? Last night Tarley updated her longfic!» it’s the enthusiastic exclamation that comes from behind her. That voice sounds so happy and the small laugh of the person sitting next to that small girl makes her tremble. Part of her is excited, but the bigger part of her is just screaming to run for her life. They know. They could  _ feel  _ her fear. What if they somehow guess her identity?!

«I saw it, I was so sure you would have read it by today, Annie.» that’s a sweet and kind voice, but Bernadetta can’t be fooled. She should run away. First of all, (almost) everything on her table gives away that she’s…  _ that _ . A fangirl. A  _ fanwriter _ . Oh, that’s big, big trouble. How can she explain the laptop with an open document - not to mention the part of text one could read? And the milkshake. The pair of headphones, everyone who reads fanfictions knows that authors enjoy listening to music as they write! 

It’s so obvious. Maybe they already know, maybe they  _ followed _ her to tell her that the way she writes is horrible, that she doesn’t deserve how successful her fanfiction became - truth to be told, she never expected such a number of followers, kudos and comments. So much… support. Anyway. 

«Oh, Mercie» the girl called “Annie” says, a big sigh «I’m so, so frustrated!»   
Bernadetta shivers. She knew it! She disappointed that girl and now she will have to pay for it! Maybe she will destroy her laptop so that the fanfic will never be updated again?! Bernie is just about to stand up and run away for real - well, in fact she  _ stands up _ but something stops her right before she takes her things to fly away out of the cafè door: «Why can’t Hugo just  _ admit  _ his feelings for Jose?!»

...Oh. She is not disappointed about the fanfiction per se, then. It still doesn’t feel safe, yet the waiter catches Bernadetta’s attention for a bit and only then she realises, by the waiter’s perplexed look on her, that she must be kind of weird while still standing without doing anything at all. She feels the warmth crawling up her neck and immediately sits back, embarrassed and almost praying that the floor will suddenly swallow her.

Once she can - more or less - focus on the voices behind her again, she hears the Annie-girl say «I mean, the fact that he is proud and doesn’t want to admit how Jose makes him feel  _ is  _ part of Hugo’s charm but come on, fifteen chapters?! Not that I blame the author! It feels like Hugo is the kind of character that almost act however he wants despite him being, well,  _ your _ character!»

«Mmh...» the girl called Mercie seems to be thinking hard about it before giving her opinion. This is torture. They know she’s the author and they are doing this on purpose, right? For sure. She’s ruined. She’s―

«I think that Jose is guilty too, in a way.» Mercie confesses, her calm tone of voice suggesting that she doesn’t really like to judge people without fully knowing about their circumstances. Which is pretty sweet, since they probably think - like the most part of  _ Tarley _ ’s readers - that Hugo and Jose are just characters. If only they knew…

«Hugo is a very difficult character. If only Jose could be more sincere… I’m sure he would gain Hugo’s trust and it would be easier.»   
«Yes, but isn’t the way Jose tries his best to keep up with his womanizer fame kinda cute? I mean, nobody really believes it, it’s too forced to be realistic! If only Hugo wasn’t so  _ stubborn _ .» 

Bernadetta doesn’t dare to turn around and spy on her expression as they exchange opinion but the small, amused chuckle she hears sounds reassuring. Somehow she gets that it’s “Mercie” who’s going to speak even before she does: «Aw, Annie, you really are a big fan of these two, aren’t you?» she jokes lightly and her friends laughs as well.

If she was into  _ femslash _ , Bernadetta thinks they would be great material. Unfortunately, she is a rotten slasher. 

Bernadetta is not very popular at school. Or better said: after all the issues she went through during junior high, the fact that she is able to actually  _ attend _ classes is a miracle. There’s not much one can ask for when being with other people is already tiring enough, especially if one is trying to blend in, in order to not catch others’ attention. She’s okay with not many classmates talking to her and she loves how she can relax during lunch break, since most of the other guys and girls go outside to eat - friends’ classroom or the cafeteria - so how horrible can be to suddenly having a classmate looking especially for her?

That’s how Linhardt von Hevring decided to destroy her peace: the moment the bell rang he stood up and reached her desk, just to sit in front of her, taking advantage of the empty seat. And now he’s staring at her, his usual sleepy face that gives the (wrong?) impression that he’s not focused at all. 

But he is. She  _ knows _ it.

«So» he begins, finally, and Bernadetta’s mind is going on and on about how many offensive things she could have done without noticing, just so that she can at least  _ try _ to apologise and beg him to spare her life «there is this gay fanfiction I’m reading lately.»

She  _ freezes. _

«I think you might be the author.»

This must be a joke. Her fate must really suck or the karma must hate her or, worse than that,  _ people _ hate her so much they think it’s a great thing to drop such a bomb in a classroom where anybody can hear the conversation. She swallows, eyes glued on her desk, no such thing as bravery and whatever a person would need to look at Linhardt and try to dissimulate. Once she finally manages to vaguely gaze a him - for no more that a couple of seconds - she can’t help but mutter «H-How do you know? It could be anyone… I don’t even write that much...» and it’s true.    
Not that she doesn’t want to write down stuff she sees and it’s a real pain to keep in mind so many ideas until she gets home, but being a fanwriter is suffering. You must endure it. Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let them know.

Linhardt doesn’t seem too convinced by her question and once he opens his mouth to speak, Bernadetta  _ knows _ she’s doomed.

«My gay-radar.»

...his what?!

«And the minimum quote of observation one should do to guess.» he adds as if implying that most of their classmates are not smart enough to notice those small details that betrayed her «For example» he keeps talking, an almost bored expression on his face «you stare.»

«I-I don’t--»   
«You do. When you think nobody notices.»   
«B-But you...» she whispers, not a single hope to run away from this mess. Must admit her crime and then ask him to keep the secret. Bernadetta tries to recollect how many things she would be ready to give up for his silence: her laptop is out of question, of course, that’s the source of her life. Her lunch. Considering how much Linhardt falls asleep during lessons, she could give him a pillow. She could even promise to not write about him - he’s not that much of a source, after all.

«I notice because I stare too.» he confesses «I found out who Hugo and Jose are.» he says, solemnly. 

_ Keep calm _ , she says to herself. Not so useful when she’s basically  _ panicking _ in every possible way. Those names can’t be casual, a coincidence. He really knows what he’s talking about and that’s a  _ disaster _ . 

«W-W-What do you want from me?!» she exclaims, despite herself, giving away that everything he said it’s the absolute truth and showing how the whole situation is stressing her out; this is what a fangirl tries to avoid, because she may find someone who will be able to understand her to some extent or at least decent enough to keep her secret but… at what cost. Bernadetta, after so many fandoms and so many authors knows the only two choices she has right now: lying, but it won’t be effective at this point. Offering her writing to bribe Linhardt, but she isn’t confident enough to do so and a small part of her still hopes that something big will happen and Linhardt will be distracted and will forget about this.

Like, why can’t a meteor fall on their school, their class,  _ her desk _ and just kill her?!

She knew it. Sci-fi and dystopia are  _ nothing but lies! _

«Here is the agreement.» Linhardt says, not much of a change of expression on his face, but something in his voice that makes him sound quite pleased «I won’t tell anyone and I will even give you some advice if it’s not too much of a hassle.» he offers, eyes on her. It’s not much of a secret that Linhardt is in a relationship with a guy, since said guy sits next to Bernadetta and they are quite  _ open _ about it - a real bless for her fangirl soul, really - but  _ advice? _

«Your end of this deal is pretty obvious.»   
«...»

Linhardt snorts, slightly annoyed «I want first-hand spoilers.»

_ Jose wasn’t bleeding anymore and, in fact, he had told that the wound wasn’t a deep one. Yet Hugo had totally lost it back then, on the battlefield, and it made his blood boil even now as they shared that small, wet space in the cave they found out of pure luck. It was unacceptable for him, this was everything a swordsman didn’t have to be: easily distracted, easily moved. Caring. He never, fucking cared. And then Jose came, with his stupid armor and his creepy way to talk to his horse as if it was a woman he had to conquer over and over again. Jose was warm, irritating, human; Hugo sweared, the moment he took his sword and killed for the first time, that he would never be anything but cold, sharp and inhuman. _

_ Jose was everything he  _ hated _. So why would his gaze search for him on the battlefield? Why would his heart sank every time Jose was risking his life - if he wasn't going to focus in battle he would gladly end him personally! - as if it mattered? _

_ It shouldn’t. He didn’t want to care, not even once. _

_ «Hugo...»  _

_ Jose’s voice was hoarse and a shiver went down his spine; Jose’s lips brushed against his ear and Hugo couldn’t help but tense up because that was too close to his body and definitely too close to his heart. _

_ «Hugo» he repeated, his hands on Hugo’s hips and his mouth almost on his neck. _

Lunch break usually means some chattering in the hallway but not much chaos. Now, instead, sounds like a storm is passing through every corridor in the school and it’s getting closer and closer.

At first Bernadetta doesn’t notice it, focused on Linhardt who’s reading the first draft of the newest chapter; she gave him access to her file on google drive and she  _ is  _ regretting all her life choices but what else could she do? What is a small spoiler compared to first gay material? To accuracy?

Linhardt finally looks up from the electronic sheet and locks eyes with her, somehow: «Jose is okay.» he says «But what are you going to do with Hugo?»   
«I don’t know...» she admits, still a bit reluctant to share her thoughts and secrets. But this is going to be troublesome: she has always been pretty on time with her updates, yet this last chapter is  _ so hard _ . After so many slow burn chapters who doesn’t want to make the confession scene, the one when they finally surrender to love  _ epic _ ? It’s the most frustrating part for her.

«You see» she finally musters enough courage to speak clearly «Hugo is such a complex character, I don’t want to make him a wimp. My readers would never forgive me but Jose has always been this kind of flirty character and it’s hard enough to make him serious and vulnerable enough to catch Hugo’s attention― and, you see» she is basically whispering at this point, slightly bending towards him «My source is lacking, lately.»

Linhardt briefly looks at the door of their classroom; outside Caspar is making some noise with his friends, which is the perfect chance to exchange top secret material without being found out.

«You mean that Fraldarius and Gautier are not flirting enough in front of you?»   
An agonizing, distressed sound comes from Bernadetta; at the same time, a  _ roar _ echoes in the hallway, something dangerously close to “ _ what the fuck did I just read?! _ ”.

Linhardt frowns while Bernadetta feels the chill of the death on her back. That is definitely Felix.

«...You think he knows?»   
«How could he? Does Fraldarius look like the person who would read gay fanfiction to you?»

They share a long silence.

«Felix! Give me back my phone! I’m still reading!»   
«You are reading  _ shit _ !»   
«Hahaha, come on Felix, it’s kinda cute.»   
«Do you wish to die?!»

As a typhoon that comes, destroys and goes away, Felix stomps in the corridor, past their classroom - kicks Sylvain’s ass along the way - and disappears. Brief, intense moments of fear. 

«Oh my God» Bernadetta whispers « _ they know _ .»

Linhardt looks at her as she tries to find a way to leave her last will somewhere, ready to erase every shameful activity she may have enjoyed until today. At some point he notices that she’s looking at him, like she expects Linhardt to be her last hope or say something comforting. He thinks about it for a moment, searches for the right words.

In the end, he finds the most important thing to say.

«I still think Jose should be the bottom.» 


End file.
